Delightfully Digital

I Started my Diet

I've started my diet
And I'm right on track
I shopped for the things
That my diet food lacked.

...I hid all the cookies
And threw out the cake,
Opened up bottles
Of vitamins to take.

I bought spinach and carrots
And apples and cheese
Parsnips and turnips
And black eyed peas.

I pulled out the scale
And leveled it up
I know that it works
'Cause I weighed the pup.

I ate my breakfast
And my snack at mid day
As for those doughnuts-
I threw them away.

I'm doing real great
Just perfect, I'd say!
For this is the same diet
I started yesterday!

Thena

Bring Back Some Scissors for Me

Bring back some scissors
My wife yelled out to me
I was headed for the Walmart
As she could plainly see.

Without knowing what I was agreeing to
I shouted back that yes I would
And quickly made my get away
While the "gettin' away" was good.

It took me about five minutes
To get the tools I needed
I walked over the appropriate aisle
And at my quest I had  succeeded.

I looked 'round for the scissors
And saw some tiny little things
They were in little case
That was all covered with bling.

She hadn't mention tweezers
Nor the pointy little sticks inside that case
So I hurried to another aisle
So that task I could erase.

I picked a pair of sewing shears
And looked at them in glee
These big ole metal things
Sure looked like scissors to me.

But something stopped me
And the clerk saw my dismay
I need to buy some scissors
Was all that I could say.

  What kind of scissors do you need
She inquired  sweetly of me.
And I tried my best to remember
What my wife had said to me.

The helpful clerk tried once more
And listed scissors by the score.
I clearly had no faint idea
How many types were in that store!

Sewing sheers, Fiskars, embroidery
Hair cutting, nail trimming-my brain was swimming.
Kitchen scissors, Garage sheers,  or  dog grooming
Oh my my fate before me was looming.

Then I blurted out "She's a scrapper I know"
"She fights?" asked the clerk
But another clerk said "Let's go."
And took me to the Scrapbooking aisle
Where she had scissors to show.

I almost kissed her hand in relief
For that all was well was my belief
Until the clerk began:

Fiskars?
Martha Stewart
Tim Holtz
Tonic
EK Success
Making Memories
KAI

Then I began to cry...

New Books on Blurb

Poems Celebrating Fathers

http://www.blurb.com/my/book/detail/1987722

My Books on Blurb.com

I''ve been going through my  files and organizing a lot of my poetry into books which I have created using Blurb. I would love for you to check them out.

 

 

Our Special Kids is about Autism, Cancer, Downs, Cystic Fibrosis, etc

Birthday Poems covers age 1 to 102

Pets covers pets from A to z

Rambunctious Rhymes has a lot of read aloud verses for kids

Quilt me a poem is a small book of quilting verses.

http://www.blurb.com/books/1980385

 

Poetry for Birthdays from 1 to 100

www.blurb.com

Rather Silly Just for Fun Stuff

 My Dog Bit an Alligator

My doggie found an alligator

Hiding in our refrigerator

And before I could say a word

There was an awful sound I heard.

I heard a bark and then a snap

A moan as if caught in a trap

A hiss and growl and howl or two

And before I knew what to do

I saw the gator run for the door

With the doggie chasing to bite once more

But he was stopped by the sight of me

And a big ole bat that he could see

Which I had grabbed

To hit that gator

And while I didn't need it then--

I might need it later!!

 

 

Once I Met a Dinosaur

 Once I met a dinosaur

As strange as it may seem

I knew what he was immediately

But he knew no human being.

He asked me to go  for a ride

And I'm so glad I did

For riding on a dinosaur

Is a cool thing for a kid.

We went up streets and alleyways

Causing quite a stir

Although the ride was  bumpy

Since dinosaurs have no soft fur.

But soon it was time to go

And I had to send him away

Because I live in an apartment

And there was no place for him to stay.

 Thena